March is Pastors’ Wives Appreciation Month. We want to celebrate these women who contribute to the life of their church in seen and unseen ways. How can your church make your pastor’s wife feel appreciated? We asked Meaghan May, a pastor’s wife and leader of WE (Wives of Elders). Here are three practical suggestions for making your pastor’s wife feel valued:

1. Give her thanks.

It is simple but often overlooked. Think of a specific thing your pastor’s wife has done or a character trait she exhibits. When you communicate appreciation for the things you’ve observed about her, it encourages her because it makes her feel seen. As Meaghan May points out, her husband is the one who is often front and center in the congregation. She doesn’t want to be on stage but she also doesn’t want to feel forgotten.

Your intentional comment, whether it’s made through a card or encouraging word, will help her feel like a valued member of the congregation. It is easy for a pastor’s wife to see her value in connection with her husband rather than as an individual with her own unique gifts, skills, and value. Expressing your gratitude dignifies her as a person and valued member of Christ’s body. 

2. Give her time.

A pastor’s wife needs time with God, themselves, and others, just like everyone else. They often forego time for themselves due to demands on their husband’s schedule or financial limitations. Giving her time can be as simple as offering to watch her kids so she can engage in a favorite activity like running. Other times, it may mean budgeting money in the church budget so she can attend a training or event for ministry wives. 

Meaghan May notes that your pastor’s wife needs friendship and conversation that only comes through quality time. She needs people in her life who can listen and encourage her like anyone else. Many pastors’ wives are utilizing Cherish to have time with a professional Christian counselor who provides a safe place for them to process issues they may be facing at home or in the church. 

3. Give her a thoughtful gift. 

One of the gifts Meaghan May values most was a book given to her by members of the small group at her church. Every member of the group had taken time to sign a different page in the book. As she turned the pages, there was another encouraging reminder that she is known and loved. Another pastor’s wife shared that when her mom passed away, she left behind an unfinished quilt. Women in her church worked to finish the quilt and it remains a treasured heirloom.

The gift you choose should be custom to the interests, needs and wants of your pastor’s wife. Whether it’s a book, quilt, or a gift card to their favorite local restaurant, these thoughtful gifts are tangible expressions of appreciation. 

Everyone has a different way they like to receive love but every intentional act conveys gratitude. A pastor’s wife doesn’t have a job description or receive compensation for all she does, but there are many spoken and unspoken expectations placed upon her. The month of March provides a good opportunity to make sure she knows that her presence is valued and her contributions are appreciated.